Poly, Open, Kinky?

Increasingly, I am working with couples who are in a poly, open or kinky relationship.  As I have been working with sexual trauma survivors and the LGBT community for 25 years, it is an understandable natural progression.  One aspect of the healing process from sexual abuse is to separate hurtful,  oppressive sexual touch from consensual sex acts.  And a fundamental aspect of the coming-out process is to free ones self from shame; specifically shame about our affectional lives and our sexuality. 

While it is not inherent that a shame-free couple will become sexually kinky, polyamorous or open their relationship, it is an essential component for a couple to have a satisfying sexual relationship.  And to the degree that one is free of shame about sex and sexuality and understands informed consent we are free to explore all that our body/ies want to do and some find they are interested in, excited about and enjoy kinky sex, wish to explore sex with others outside their committed relationship or have other lovers.

While it is not universal that all poly, open and kinky couples will grapple with jeolousy, attachment issues, communication and intimacy complications, it is natural for these to emerge.  It is important to work with a therapist who is aware and both emotionally and intellectually comfortable with the structure of a sex-positive couple.  Thus, the couple will not need to educate the therapist nor need to protect or defend their sexual and relationship decision, but instead get support in dealing with the emotional and logistical  ramifications of those decisions on the couple and each individual.

I specialize in working with attachment issues, sex, sexuality, healing from shame and working with couples who struggle with emotional and/or sexual intimacy.  This foundation in my practice helps me work with poly, open or kinky couples from an informed place as well as comfortable with the structure of a couples' relationship.  I hope to attract more couples who are poly, open or kinky.